Recurring Strength

Sometimes I don’t want to be strong.

Am I weak for admitting that?

Sometimes I want a day off,

but I’m unemployed.

Sometimes I need balance,

but both feet are on the ground.

Sometimes I’m not grateful,

Sometimes I don’t want to say the right things,

And sometimes I tell God that so “He know it’s real.”

 

Strength is not just handed to the weak.

Nor are the tasks they are given.

As I take it one day at a time,

I am taken back to a time when I couldn’t.

When my portion of strength was small, because so was my faith.

When everyday was a burden,

Now every day is a challenge.

I have seen that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.

So handle this, I can do all things through Christ who gives us strength,

But what if some days I don’t want to.

What if some days I want to take the day off and pretend there aren’t responsibilities asking for my whereabouts.

Strength is pushing through that.

Weakness is acting as if it doesn’t exist.

It is acting like all things external, don’t phase my existence.

 

I am woman.

I am strong.

Strong with a God-like strength that only He can administer.

But I am human.

Human with a flesh that has the tendency to crave laze.

Flesh that thinks “Me, Me, Me” that has to be trained to behave.

Human that is failure without God’s Grace.

Sometimes I don’t want to be strong.

I am not weak for admitting that.

I am stronger as a result of my honesty.

I am strong because I recognize that though I don’t always feel like it, I am.

I recognize that though every job well done isn’t a milestone to everyone, it still is.

I recognize that in Christ is the solace that I seek.

I recognize that in my weakness God is my strength,

and nothing can take that from me.

So I am, even when I don’t want to be.

 

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