I have recently been in a place of confusion. Confusion as to why it seems like my spirituality was stagnant. I have been feeling like I didn’t know how to seek Jesus. I would try to become closer, but it was as if I didn’t have the desire to. My conversation with Him would be based on Things or Needs. I thought that constantly speaking things into existence would make me closer to Him. When I would speak in faith and not see the things happen I would think I just had to wait for God to do it. With waiting I would grow further away from Him, thinking He will show up eventually. I would hear people doing the same things as me tell their stories of all these amazing things that happened to them, while I sat and waited. I was angry, but just more confused. Thinking to myself, “What am I doing wrong?” “Why do I have to wait, while others prosper!?”
With all the blessings I have nothing was ever enough for me, I wanted more. I would stress out about needing more. Not being grateful for what it is I actually have.
That is a horrible way to live. That’s bondage to things and desires other than God. My constant search and speaking for things other than the presence of God was ruining my life.
I don’t want my life to be full of discontent. I want my life to be full of Jesus.
“Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it. So if we have enough food and clothing, let us be content.”
1 Timothy 6:6-8 NLT
Yes, I want a bigger house and more cash and vacations overseas, but I won’t love God or seek God any less if I don’t get it. And I will be overflowing with a grateful heart when I receive it because it’s a blessing.
Many of us may have heard the term, functional savior. Below is the definition from Rap Genius referring to Lecrae’s song “Fear” from the Welcome to America album
A “functional savior” is that which one goes to when things are bad, falling apart, less than perfect, beyond their control, or boring. Many times these are materialistic possessions or bad habits that never satisfy completely. They are empty. Jesus is the only actual savior that is sufficient and that can satisfy our deepest longings.
This isn’t an “anti” message. So don’t even fix your mind to hear that lie. What it is is clarity for those who need more of Jesus in all aspects. As a father, as a friend… For those who have made prayer a time to tell God all the you need and not to be closer to Him. I have fallen into the trap, and I know I’m not the only one. I choose to keep God first and all those things will be added. There’s no struggle in that. I need Jesus to satisfy my deepest longings. To fill the holes no one or nothing can fill.
“If I have you, I have everything. But without you, I have nothing” – from Kari Jobe’s “Always Enough”
I am more satisfied with crying out for more of Jesus, more of the Holy Spirit guiding and comforting me than anything I have ever asked for. And in doing this He has blessed me with things I desire, but that I don’t put before Him.
I witnessed my mother cry out to God morning after morning after morning after morning. God gave her the desires of her heart. And when she may not have had all she needed she never stopped. She never had a change in character, she continued in her pursuit of the Father.
This is the message that changed my life. This is the revelation that has changed my relationship. Thank you Jesus!
Below is the link to Kari Jobe’s Always Enough