I have allowed thoughts of fear and failure into my mind. With transitioning to a full time job all my mind concentrated on was how I couldn’t possibly have time to be used by God. I thought my dreams were stomped and there was no time for them to happen. Even though I wasn’t doing much with my time before I got the job anyway.
I cried out to God- literally hunched over and sobbed. I admitted to Him that I was terrified that I would not bring Him glory with my life. I was so afraid that I would turn into someone who just worked and attended church and not Participated. That with my prayers and confessions to be successful on my job, would cause me to lose focus on the gifts I have.
But, Perfect Love Casts Out ALL fear. Thanks be to God who’s love is enough to crush my insecurities. The insecurities that seem as big as mountains but are actually pebbles small enough to skip across a body of water. God’s thoughts are not our thoughts. He has a plan to Prosper us not to Harm us. Don’t ever think something you know for a fact God blessed you with can turn into something that will keep you from HIM! The only way that can happen is if you let it.
As I cried out to God, He reassured me that what He has for me still stands, but it is up to me to take the talents – invest in them to return more to my master instead of burying it in the dirt in fear that I can not measure up to his standards.
So I make the decision to move forward and be who He called me to be, in all natural circumstances here on earth. It seems so easy as an adult to lose focus on things God. When I was younger I thought it would be easier to focus on him.
Don’t be stuck in the life of full-time jobs and ups and downs. I know when the time comes for a family it will be another challenge, but the fight for giving God my time is a fight for life. His plans don’t change, His promises don’t change… So don’t let your faith in Him and his Word to you change.